


i'll never be sorry enough, but you look so beautiful

by dummysapphic



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Adora (She-Ra) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Adora Has Issues (She-Ra), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Car Accidents, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra Has Issues (She-Ra), Chronic Pain, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Nonbinary Adora (She-Ra), Nonbinary Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Service Dog!Swiftwind, Trans Bow (She-Ra), Trans Character, Trans Perfuma (She-Ra), adora is a nonbinary lesbian in this :), best friends to strangers to friends to lovers, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:06:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28889577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dummysapphic/pseuds/dummysapphic
Summary: Catra and Adora haven't seen each other since theaccident.Today, on their first day of junior year at Brightmoon University, they do.Today, after being split apart seven years ago, they do.----OR: You've all heard the story. Adora leaves. Catra is heartbroken. They don't speak for years. But now, let's throw a car crash into the mix!
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Netossa/Spinnerella (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 67





	1. anger and grief go hand in hand

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm here with a new AU! If you're here from my other AU, ["when i watch the world burn, all i think about is you"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28400202/chapters/69589884), then don't worry! I'm still working on that! I just need to write an AU that's less angsty than an evil Adora vampire au. If that makes sense :/
> 
> ANYWAY!! Back to this fic! So it's a college/university AU about Adora's chronic pain following a car accident that happened when she was fourteen. I'll explain a little more in this chapter and in future ones. 
> 
> The majors of everyone are:  
> Adora: astrophysics but mainly astronomy  
> Catra: art  
> Glimmer: business  
> Bow: history  
> Mermista and Sea Hawk: marine biology  
> Scorpia: social work  
> Perfuma: biology  
> Entrapta: engineering
> 
> OH AND THIS IS IMPORTANT SO LISTEN!! Bow and Perfuma are both trans in this!  
> Adora is a nonbinary lesbian. Their pronouns are she/they in this and I will be alternating between both of her pronouns in this fic. They also wear a binder! If I see ANY transphobic comments, they will be deleted immediately. Don't even bother typing it out. 
> 
> Ok, bye-bye! I hope you guys enjoy this!

\----  
**Adora**

Her alarm blares loudly at exactly six-thirty in the morning. 

Adora squints their eyes open groggily and slams a hand down on their phone to make it stop. 

She lays with her eyes closed for a few moments before she knows she has to get up. Her slow, calm breathing fills the silence in the room.

Adora hears Glimmer, her purple-haired best friend, groan loudly from her bedroom, which is down the hall. “Five more minutes,” she yells out groggily. Adora doesn’t move from their bed, trying to make these few seconds last hours.

Glimmer and Adora met their first year at Brightmoon University. The two of them were placed together as roommates in their dorm. At first, it was super awkward. An astrophysics student and a business student don’t exactly have a lot in common. Glimmer didn’t seem to know what to say about the whole ‘nerve-damaged leg, service dog’ thing, and neither did Adora. 

After they got past the awkward phase, though, they became best friends quickly. Adora trusts Glimmer with everything in her life, and vice versa. Besides, it’s a little hard to keep secrets from someone when you live with them. 

Adora’s about to fall asleep again when she remembers why she set her alarm for this time in the first place. She shoots up into a sitting position but groans internally when that makes the nerves in her leg flare up in pain. The pain does work to wake her up a little, though. 

They turn so that their legs are dangling off the edge of the twin bed. Adora grabs their crutches, which were leaning on the wall beside their bed, and uses them to push themself up onto their feet. 

One glance at Glimmer’s closed bedroom door tells Adora that there’s no way the shorter girl is waking up right now. Instead of risking a grumpy Glimmer all day, Adora instead goes to wake up her service dog Swift Wind. She walks over to his small bed in the corner of her bedroom and, while only struggling a little, leans down and shakes him as gently as she can to wake him up. 

The golden retriever blinks groggily at his owner but, once his mind clears a little, he jumps up excitedly at starting the day. Adora pets his ears before standing up slowly, trying not to strain their leg. Swift Wind appears at Adora’s side and pushes them up to the best of his ability. Well, as best as a dog can push up a human with chronic nerve pain. 

Once Adora is standing, she walks to the extra small kitchen to try to make breakfast for her and Glimmer. She wants their first day of junior year at Brightmoon University to be great, and a great day always starts with an excellent breakfast, right? 

The first problem arises when they arrive at the pantry. They don’t know what to make, nor do they have any idea how to cook food. They really should’ve learned at some point, but it just never came up. The second they open the fridge, loud shuffling can be heard as Glimmer groggily gets out of her bed and opens her bedroom door to peer at Adora with a tired, but still angry, glare. 

Glimmer sighs, “It’s too early for you to be burning down our apartment.” Adora decides not to take offence to that. She has had an odd amount of kitchen accidents. The shorter girl stumbles out of her room and walks into the kitchen, already grabbing a pan and some ingredients from the fridge. 

Adora takes that as her exit and turns to go get ready for the day, but not before thanking Glimmer profusely for helping her. Glimmer smiles at her best friend, telling her she doesn’t have to thank her. 

The blonde walks back into their bedroom, but only to grab their outfit for the day and go to the washroom to shower. 

She tries to shower as quickly as she can while also using her shower stool. She made sure to get a small stool so that she can fit it into their little bathtub, but it's still a pain in the ass to use. Some days, she can manage to stand on her own without needing to sit, but Adora doesn't want to risk straining her leg enough to be unable to go to class today.

It’s at moments like these that Adora is grateful that she and Glimmer have their own apartment outside of the university. Sure, it’s dirt cheap and so incredibly tiny, but it’s theirs and they don’t have to follow the university’s rules. Or use the communal showers. Adora practically shivers at the thought of having to use those again. It is practically impossible to hold a shower caddy _and_ a shower stool all while using crutches. 

It surprised Adora when Glimmer wanted to get an off-campus apartment this year. For their past two years, Adora and Glimmer have stayed at a dorm on campus. Glimmer said something about ‘freedom’ and ‘not having to deal with her mom all day,’ but she easily won Adora over with the prospect of having their own personal shower that isn’t being used by countless other students.

After they finish their shower, they take their shower stool out of the bathtub carefully and quickly change into the outfit they picked for themself. It’s pretty chilly for September today, so they opt for a comfortable white high-neck shirt with their varsity jacket, grey leggings, and their binder. As they look into the slightly foggy mirror, they pull their hair into its signature tight ponytail, hair puff included. Once they’re sure they look okay, Adora opens the washroom door and goes into the kitchen. 

The second Adora opens the door, she’s greeted by the smell of melted cheddar cheese and toasted tortillas. She practically floats over to the tiny dinner table they’ve managed to fit in their apartment, “Ooh, whatcha making?”

Glimmer, previously busy at the stovetop, turns to Adora after shutting it off. After placing the freshly heated food onto plates for Adora and herself, Glimmer walks to the table carefully, “Cheese quesadillas.” 

Adora raises a brow, “Quesadillas? For _breakfast_?” It’s not a typical breakfast, but Adora will take whatever they can get at this point. Their stomach growls in agreement, telling Glimmer that they really don’t care what they eat right now.

Glimmer places the plates down with a grin, “Well, it’s this or nothing, so come on.” Without another word, the two best friends dig into their cheesy tortillas with as much enthusiasm as two people eating at a 5-star restaurant. Adora takes her medication before they leave, just to make sure she won’t have a bad pain day.

By the time they finish eating and Adora waits for Glimmer to get ready, it’s seven-forty five. The University is a five to ten-minute drive from here, depending on the traffic, so they go down to Glimmer’s car in the parking lot. After Adora puts her crutches in the trunk, Glimmer gets into the driver’s seat and Adora gets into the passenger seat.

Adora can’t help but feel guilty for not being able to drive them to school. They’ve never driven before, not even before the accident. They were fourteen when it happened, so they wouldn’t really have been driving by then, anyway. After what happened, Adora couldn’t drive because of their injury. After their leg healed as best as it could, Adora still couldn’t step into the driver’s seat of a car. Every time they did, they would have a panic attack or just couldn't do it.

The two arrive at Brightmoon University to see it absolutely packed with eager, and not-so-eager, students. They find the best parking spot they can in an already-filled University and head out. Glimmer gives Adora her crutches and they go into the school to find their friends.

It doesn’t take long, to say the least. As soon as they step in, their friends practically surround them in a big hug. The large friend group hung out multiple times throughout the summer together, but they’re still so excited to see each other. 

The feeling is mutual, though. Adora couldn’t be happier to see their closest friends. They look around the large friend group that has now moved over so they’re not blocking the front door and being _those_ kind of people. 

Sea Hawk is yelling something about ‘ADVENTURE!” to Mermista, who is groaning loudly and rolling her eyes, but everyone knows that she’s only pretending to hate Sea Hawk’s loud personality. 

Glimmer immediately went to Bow to give him a big hug. Those two have been best friends since they were kids, and they easily fall back into excited conversations about their summers. 

Entrapta somehow brought a small robot named Emily with her and is now showing Emily around the University. 

Spinnerella and Netossa, two senior students who live together off-campus, talk to Frosta, a freshman who looks incredibly anxious about her first day. Spinnerella and Netossa are no doubt telling Frosta which professors are strict about homework and which ones don’t really care. Frosta is staring wide-eyed at them as she listens to every word they tell her.

Perfuma is… texting someone? The blonde is trying to contain a smile, but the corners of her mouth are turning upwards the more she looks at her screen. Adora is about to go up and to her when Perfuma looks up from her phone at the front door, tiptoeing to look over everyone. 

Adora looks in the direction Perfuma turned. A tall, muscular woman with short white-dyed hair, prosthetic arms, and a bright smile on her face walks in. 

The woman looks around until she spots Perfuma waving at her. Her smile somehow gets bigger as she bounds towards the shorter woman. Once she reaches Perfuma, the taller woman pulls Perfuma into a tight-searing hug. Perfuma laughs at the gesture as her feet leave the floor when Scorpia lifts her up slightly. There’s a light blush dusting both of their faces.

Adora, feeling like they’re intruding on something, turns away and walks over to Bow. Once Bow sees them, he pulls Adora into a hug, “Adora! I missed you so much! How was your summer? Is your leg doing okay?”

Adora laughs at his eagerness as she hugs her other best friend back, “I missed you so much, too, Bow! My summer was great. My leg still works, so that’s a plus, right?” She makes her tone joking so Bow doesn’t worry.

Bow pulls back with a laugh at Adora’s words. The two friends fall back into their regular rhythm fairly quickly. After Bow stopped to give Swift Wind some attention, though. He knows not to pet Swift Wind when he has his vest on, since he’s working, but he still tells him how much of a good boy he is, others in the group joining in on giving the dog affectionate words. The golden retriever eats up all the affection like the little attention seeker Adora knows he is. 

As Bow and Adora are talking, Scorpia walks up to them looking just a little nervous. Perfuma is by her side, practically pushing her in front of the two friends. Scorpia waves a prosthetic hand, then extends it out for them, “Hello! My name is Scorpia, it’s nice to meet you guys. I just transferred here from Horde College with my two friends.” Scorpia is obviously nervous to be starting at a new school, which Adora can definitely relate to. 

Adora smiles as she shakes her hand while balancing one of her crutches under her arm, “It’s great to meet you, Scorpia. I’m Adora.”

The second the blonde says their name, Scorpia tenses up. Adora raises a brow, “What is it?”

Scorpia suddenly looks very nervous as she moves her eyes back and forth from Adora and back to the front door. Adora turns around to see what Scorpia’s looking at, and her heart skips a beat. It skips many beats, actually. It may or may not have stopped because, standing at the front doors of the University Adora attends, is Catra Driluth. 

As in, the Catra that she was best friends with until they were fourteen. 

The Catra that was with them during the _accident_. 

The Catra that she lov-

Catra.

\----  
**Catra**

Scorpia went inside a few minutes ago, but she continues pacing outside the school. 

This is her first year at Brightmoon University after transferring from Horde College. Scorpia already made some friends inside, telling by how she’s hugging that blonde so tightly. Catra smirks at that before going back to her anxious pacing.

What if this school is worse than her last one? What if she doesn’t graduate? What if they take away her scholarship? She tries to quell these thoughts before she goes in, knowing she’ll only panic if she keeps thinking like that. It doesn't work very well, though. 

After a few minutes of hyping herself up to go inside, Catra actually does it. She’s tried her best to keep her thought positive, but it’s no use. She pushes open the door to see the large group Scorpia joined earlier still there.

She tiptoes to look for her tall, loud friend. Instead of her friend, Catra sees Adora Grayskull.

As in, the Adora that was her best friend until she was fourteen.

The Adora that had her leg crushed in the _accident_.

The Adora that left her, at fourteen, with Shadow Weaver.

Adora.


	2. i exist in two places, here and where you are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora panics.
> 
> Catra worries.
> 
> Scorpia and Swift Wind are very supportive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This chapter doesn't have much plot in it, but I still think it's necessary to move the story along. I probably could've fit all of this in one chapter, but where's the fun in that?
> 
> Both Catra and Adora have gone to therapy in this fic! Yay, mental growth. Despite that, they're both not doing too great in this chapter :( 
> 
> Ugh, there is something I don't like about this chapter, so I apologize if it's not very good quality. I hope you enjoy this chapter, though! If you like this fic, I would really appreciate a comment, a kudo, or both! They are both so very appreciated, and I love reading all your comments.
> 
> Ok, bye-bye!
> 
> TW: panic attack, slight sensory overload
> 
> If you don't want to read the panic attack/sensory overload part (totally understandable, btw), there's a "~~~" at the beginning and end of that part. It's not really important to read to understand what's happening in the rest of the fic, so you'll be fine if you don't. Enjoy, and stay safe!

\----  
**Adora**

After the initial shock of seeing their childhood best friend after seven years of total radio silence, panic quickly replaces it.

Catra probably hates her after what she did. Well, it’s not like Adora had a choice in the matter, but still. She left Catra. She left her with Ms. Weaver, of all people, and didn’t even try to contact Catra after she left. She was too scared of Shadow Weaver finding her again and dragging her back to that house, but that's no excuse to abandon your best friend. Maybe if she weren’t so weak, she and Catra could’ve stayed friends this whole time. 

Adora tries to put on a calm face as they turn to Glimmer, who currently has a worried look on her face. They force their voice to not sound as shaky, “I’m going to my class early. See you guys later!” It’s obvious that this is a lie because her class doesn’t start for another thirty minutes and Glimmer knows that. Not even Adora would go to class that early.

Bow lifts a hand to stop Adora, knowing how _not_ fine she is right now, “Adora, wai-”

Before Glimmer or Bow can say anything else, Adora turns and runs down a hallway which definitely doesn’t lead to their class. They feel guilty for running away from Catra again, but they can’t deal with this right now.

They hear the familiar clinking sound of Swift Wind’s collar, showing that he’s following Adora as they run into the nearest washroom. That’s a relief.

She makes sure it’s one of the gender-neutral washrooms on campus, meaning that she’s the only one in the small room. The second that she locks the door, Adora slides down so that she’s sitting with her knees to her chest. Faintly, she can hear her crutches clatter to the floor near her.

~~~

All the feelings she was trying to bury in front of her friends come bubbling up again as her vision blurs with tears. She can feel her heartbeat and breathing speed up, but she can’t do anything about it. She’s stuck. Paralyzed.

The fluorescent light above them feels so much brighter than when they first came in, and it hurts their eyes. They drop their head down onto their knees to hide from the bright light, but it doesn’t work very well. 

Every little thing around them feels overwhelming. The light is too bright. The drip of the faucet is too loud. Their thoughts are going too fast.

Adora knows she should try to do some calming exercises her therapist taught her, but she can’t for the life of her remember them.

After what feels like an eternity of gasping for breath and crying, they feel something wet and slimy on the back of their hand. Adora looks down to see Swift Wind licking their hand, which gives them something to focus on instead of their panicking thoughts. After a couple of seconds, Swift Wind pushes his snout gently into Adora’s abdomen. 

She closes her eyes and focuses on the feeling of light pressure on her stomach and of the slimy liquid on her hand. The dog slobber might be a little gross, but it is effective in giving her brain something to focus on. Adora’s still breathing heavily, so she tries to focus on that. 

It’s on their third attempt at a deep breath that they finally manage to allow the air into their lungs. Once they take that first breath, the ones that follow feel infinitely easier. 

After a few minutes of trying to get their breathing and heart rate to slow, Swift Wind switches from pushing gently into Adora’s stomach to laying his head in their lap.

Adora unfolds her legs and scratches lazily at the fur on the top of Swift Wind’s head. When she feels the familiar shooting pain in her leg, Adora regrets sitting in such an uncomfortable position. It's not too painful, though, so she knows she can get through the rest of the day.

~~~

She doesn’t know how long she and Swift Wind sit there on the ceramic tiles of a university washroom, but eventually, she remembers the reason she’s even awake this early in the first place.

While still petting Swift Wind, Adora pulls out their phone to check the time. Seven-fifty.

Oh.

Oh!

Their first class starts at eight, so they have ten minutes to go across the campus to the Physical and Mathematical Sciences wing. Abruptly, they stand up quickly, surprising the poor dog that had his head on their lap. Burning pain flows through their leg in protest, and they quickly grab their crutches to support them.

After making sure Swift Wind is behind her and on his leash, Adora unlocks the door and rushes to her first class of the semester. She desperately hopes that nobody can tell she’s been crying. It’s a good thing she brought Swift Wind with her today, otherwise she would probably still be sobbing on that washroom floor.

By some kind of miracle, Adora only is a couple of minutes late to the class. They’re grateful that their professor isn’t strict about punctuality. The second they walk in, everyone’s eyes turn towards them and Swift Wind. Adora blushes and goes to find a seat as quickly as they can so all the students’ eyes won’t be on them. 

They find a good-ish seat near the middle of the room and take out their laptop to start taking notes. Thankfully, the professor hadn’t gotten far with the class yet. She hadn’t even started going over the syllabus yet, which Adora had already printed a week ago. 

Maybe this year won’t be such a disaster after all…

\----  
**Catra**

“This year is going to be a _disaster_!”

She’s been pacing a hole into the floor for the past ten minutes. After Adora ran away, _as usual_ , Catra left out of the doors she came through. 

Scorpia followed behind her, after apologizing to the tall blonde she was talking to for leaving early. Catra scoffed when she heard the blonde’s supportive, cheery voice.

Now, Catra’s pacing in a loop in front of Scorpia, who’s sitting on a bench anxiously watching her best friend spiral.

The taller woman tries to stay positive, “You don’t know that! Maybe you and Adora won’t even see each other.”

Catra paused. Did she want to never see Adora again? Would that really change anything?

The brunette sighs. She’s trying to be a better person now. She wants to be a better friend. Would she be a good friend if she completely avoids talking to her childhood best friend just because she got adopted and Catra didn’t? Catra doesn’t have to think long about the answer to that question.

It’s then that she remembers what Adora looks like after seven years apart from Catra. 

She’s much taller than Catra remembers. She and Catra used to be roughly the same height, but now Adora’s taller by at least a few inches. It’s… embarrassing, to say the least.

She’s a lot less skinny than she used to be. Her baby fat looks like it got completely replaced by rock-hard muscles. Even through that obnoxiously bright red jacket she was wearing, Catra could still see Adora’s muscles straining through the fabric. Catra tries to hide the blush blooming on her face at her thoughts.

The most prominent thing about Adora now, though, is the crutches. That, and the service dog beside her. It’s pretty obvious that Adora got those after… the accident. Catra feels a wave of guilt hit her at the thought of Adora still having to deal with the side effects of something that was her fault. 

The last time Catra saw Adora was when she was unconscious in a hospital bed, with her leg wrapped up in bandages and her body covered in bruises and blood. After that, Adora was taken- _adopted_ by a family after they saw what happened to when Adora was under Shadow Weaver’s care. 

Despite Shadow Weaver getting an inspection by Child Protective Services, Catra still stayed with her. The government officials had deemed her still able to ‘care for a child’. Catra scoffs internally at the memory.

Her taller friend’s worried voice brings Catra back to the present, “Wildcat? You okay?”

‘ _No_ ,’ Catra thinks, ‘ _No, I am not._ ”

She looks down at the floor instead of at Scorpia, “What if… I want to see Adora again.” Catra hopes Scorpia didn’t hear her meek whisper. It was hard enough to say what she wants out loud, let alone talking to her best friend about it.

“Then-then maybe you and her can be friends.” Catra appreciates Scorpia still trying to stay positive, but she knows how unlikely that is.

Catra shakes her head, feeling tears build up in her eyes. She’s glad that most of the students have gone inside by now, leaving Scorpia and Catra mostly alone outside. “No, Adora hates me. She has to, after what I did.”

She remembers what her therapist told her. “You must not blame yourself for what happened, dearie. It was not your fault!” Razz may sound a little crazy to most people, but sometimes she offers real advice for Catra. She’s the best therapist Catra’s been to, and there’s been a lot.

Distantly, Catra hears Scorpia stand up from her bench and walk over cautiously. She definitely saw Catra’s tears, which only works to make the tears in the brunette’s eyes grow more.

Prosthetic arms wrap around Catra in a tight hug. Normally, Catra would do everything she can to escape Scorpia’s hugs, but not today. She’s trying to be kinder to her friends, and to herself, and that means accepting help from them when she needs it. Besides, she could really use some support right now.

Catra wraps her arms around her best friend and hides her face in the taller woman’s shoulder as the tears finally roll down her cheeks. Scorpia smiles at Catra accepting support, “It’ll be okay, Wildcat. You’re a different person than when you last saw Adora. There’s still a chance, right?”

After nodding, Catra pulls away from the hug with a shaky smile. She wipes her eyes and sniffles while still looking down, embarrassed. “Yeah, you’re right, Scorpia. Thank you.” 

The white-haired woman smiles brightly, surprised that Catra agreed with her so quickly, “I am? I am! You’re welcome, Wildcat.” Catra knows how proud Scorpia is that Catra’s trying to be a better person and friend, and that motivates her to keep trying.

Catra laughs weakly at her friend’s surprise, before her face reddens slightly, “Uh… You’re a really good friend, Scorpia.”

Scorpia’s smile somehow grows, “You think so?”

Catra’s nod is cut off by Scorpia pulling her into another tight hug, much tighter than the first one. Because of the height difference, Catra’s feet leave the floor as Scorpia practically picks her up. The brunette laughs louder at her best friend, before the hug becomes just a little too tight, “Scorpia, my ribs!” 

Scorpia laughs sheepishly at that and places her shorter friend down onto the ground, “Sorry, Catra. Wanna get to class, now?” Scorpia doesn’t even have a class until one-thirty, just coming today to support Catra and to see her friends. Catra doesn’t know how she got lucky enough to have a friend like Scorpia.

The art major looks at the time on her phone. Eight-thirty. Her class starts at nine o’clock, but it’s a long walk from where they are now. If they don’t walk too fast, Catra will probably be early enough to get a good seat, but not so early that it’ll look weird. Catra nods, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Catra walks back into the building with Scorpia, feeling more hopeful than she was when she first got here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, Swift Wind immediately began to lick Adora's hand. He didn't wait a long time like Adora thinks he did. That was just the panic making it feel like a long time. Swift Wind is very good at his job!
> 
> Also, please tell me if anything in this fic is inaccurate!! I based the panic attack part on my own experience, but I don't have a service dog, nerve damage, or get sensory overload (I think), so tell me if anything is out of the ordinary! I researched and tried to make it as accurate to reality as I could.
> 
> Chapter title credit: Corpse Song, Margaret Atwood
> 
> Oh! And here's Catra in some kitty pyjamas :)
> 
> [](https://ibb.co/71djfTJ)  
> 
> 
> My tumblr is @eloquentsapphic if you guys want to go check out the stuff I post there.


	3. i’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches i almost said to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora opens up just slightly.
> 
> Catra helps Adora.
> 
> Swift Wind is a good boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let me start this off by saying I am SO SO sorry for neglecting this fic!! I've been overwhelmed with school the past two weeks, and my mental health has been getting worse the past couple of days. I can't promise this won't happen again, but I truly hope it won't. 
> 
> I really hope you guys like this chapter! I know this one kind of sucks, but it's the best I could write at the moment. If you do like it, you could leave a kudo, a comment, or both! Comments and kudos basically fuel my writing, so if you want to see more of this fic, I recommend you leave a comment or kudo!
> 
> Ok, bye-bye!

\----

The front door of their apartment closes behind them as they take off their jacket and hang it on a rack beside the door. Adora takes their shoes off and silently pads into the living room, Swift Wind trotting alongside them happily. 

Adora doesn’t know why she feels so… distant today. She was fine when she woke up and then she saw Catra again for the first time in eight years and it all went downhill from there. To be fair, all her classes went great. None of her professors are too strict, and her classes aren’t totally packed. Well, there aren’t many people on the planet who would willingly go to an advanced physics course at eight in the morning, but still. 

With a groan, they fall onto the couch, crutches landing onto the floor with a loud thud. Swift Wind licks Adora’s tired face to get them to wake up, but Adora doesn’t move from her spot on the couch. They’re about to get their phone out to text Glimmer, who Adora knows is already in the other room studying, but the girl in question walks out of her bedroom just then.

Glimmer glances between Adora lying pitifully on the couch, the crutches on the floor, and Swift Wind standing tall in front of them. She takes off Swift Wind’s harness before she turns to the miserable-looking person on the couch.

She sighs and moves to kneel in front of Adora, “What happened today, Adora?”

Adora decides to play dumb, “What are you talking about?”

Glimmer rolls her eyes, “When you ran away while we were with all our friends this morning, remember? I know you saw Catra, but why did you run?” The purple-haired girl’s voice is gentle, so Adora knows she’s not mad at them. Disappointed, maybe, but not mad. 

Adora adjusts her body, so she’s curled up in a ball facing Glimmer. She really doesn’t want to talk about what happened this morning, but she knows she should. She can practically hear her therapist, Mara, telling her it’s okay to be vulnerable with her friends. 

“I… I was scared. I was scared that Catra would hate me, or-or that she would never want to see me again after what I did.”

Glimmer places a light hand on Adora’s shoulder, “So, you ran away because you wanted to leave before Catra left you first?”

Adora nods as they look away from Glimmer, curling into themself more despite the pain that radiates from her leg at the sudden position change. Maybe they deserve the pain for what they’ve put Catra through.

Glimmer sends her a sad smile as she stands up to sit beside Adora’s head. She taps lightly on Adora’s shoulder, “Come on, Adora. I’m very comfy, you know.”

Adora shifts again to rest their head on Glimmer’s thigh. They’re still curled tightly in a ball, with their hands over their face to block out the light. They had hoped that the light sensitivity would go away after their panic attack, but it had followed them for the entire day, albeit not as strong. 

She hears Glimmer’s voice above her, “I’m really proud of you, Adora.”

“Why? I did nothing.”

“Well, you just told me what was bothering you and I didn’t have to pull it out of you. I count that as a win.”

Adora scoffs but says nothing. She shouldn’t be praised for something that everyone can do. Even children can say what’s bothering them without being uncomfortable or weak. It’s ridiculous, but Adora still struggles with it. 

Glimmer, as if sensing Adora’s thoughts, chastises them, “Adora, it’s a _good_ thing that you’re opening up. Just because you struggle with vulnerability doesn’t mean you’re weak, you hear me?”

Begrudgingly, Adora nods. Her hands muffle her voice, but she mumbles, “You’re a really great friend, Glimmer.”

“I really appreciate that, Adora, but you’re changing the subject.”

Adora groans, “No, I’m not! I’m just trying to appreciate my best friend, Glimmer.” 

“Adora…” Glimmer’s voice has a warning tone to it.

“Okay, fine! Maybe I’m changing the subject a _little_ , but so what? What do you want to know, anyway?”

Glimmer sighs as her hand moves to brush through Adora’s shoulder-length hair. Adora practically melts at the touch, the fatigue from earlier catching up to her. “Next time you feel scared, or overwhelmed, or anything, you know you can tell me or Bow, right?”

Adora stays silent this time. They don’t want to bother Bow or Glimmer with their silly, insignificant problems. They don’t deserve to deal with Adora and everything that comes with them. It wouldn’t be fair for Adora to put all her worries onto their shoulders. She can deal with her problems alone.

Glimmer’s hand stops, “Adora?” 

Knowing Glimmer’s waiting for a response, Adora sighs, “I just… I don’t want to bother you guys. I have Swift Wind, so you shouldn’t need to help me with my problems.”

Glimmer’s hand continues its light brushing, “You could never bother us by talking about what’s bothering you, Adora, and we don’t help you because we need to. We help you because you’re our best friend, and we love you.”

Adora turns her head to look at Glimmer, skeptical, “Are you sure?”

The purple-haired girl nods confidently, “I’m one-hundred percent sure.”

With a sigh, Adora nods, “Okay, I’ll tell you next time I feel like that.” Glimmer claps her hands together with a bright smile on her face before she seems to remember something.

“Oh, do you want to go to Brightmoon Coffee with me and Bow at three?”

Adora grabs her phone, checking the time. One-forty five. Hmm, that actually sounds like fun. She nods, “Yeah, sure. I have some homework to do right now, though, so I’m gonna go to my room.” Adora’s extremely surprised she pulled off a lie as believable as that. She internally pats herself on the back for not being the worst actor on the face of the Earth.

As Adora’s standing, she notices Glimmer’s incredulous look. It seems she wasn’t as good of an actor as she initially thought. “It’s so early for homework, though. Just do it later, or something.” Adora grabs her crutches as she tries to think of a good excuse.

The blonde practically runs to their room, hoping to not look suspicious, “Well, gotta get that head start, right?” As soon as both Adora and Swift Wind are in her room, Adora shuts the door quickly, hoping Glimmer doesn’t notice their obvious lying.

She jumps into her bed and immediately pulls out her phone. As soon as the bright light turns on, Adora opens Instagram and begins her search. Catra must have some form of social media somewhere on the internet, right?

\----  
 **A Concerning Amount of Time Later…**

They finally, finally found Catra’s Instagram.

It took forever, but she did it, and all it took was searching all of her friends’ followings to find Catra or someone who knew her. First, she went to Perfuma’s account, and then to her followings. Perfuma was following someone named Scorpion_Queen12, which must have been Scorpia. After going on Scorpia’s account, she went to her following and finally found someone named Wildcat1028. That had to be Catra, since October 28 is her birthday. 

There’s just one problem, though.

Catra’s account is private.

If this were anyone else, Adora might have found her shameless stalking a little concerning. This was Catra, though, so she brushed it off. It’s not like she can see any of Catra’s posts, anyway, and there is _no way_ she is requesting to follow her.

With a groan, they look at the time. Two-thirty. Wow, stalking really passes by time. They stand up and grab their crutches to get ready to go meet with Bow at Brightmoon Coffee with Glimmer. They look in the mirror at their outfit. The same outfit they picked for themself this morning: their white high-neck long-sleeve shirt paired with their red varsity jacket and grey leggings.

After grabbing everything she needs for the day, Adora leaves her room to see how ready Glimmer is to go yet. Because Glimmer is infamous for always being late to hangouts with their friends, Adora suspects that Glimmer hasn’t even started yet. She goes and sits on the couch, scrolling through her phone as she waits for Glimmer to finish getting ready. The faint sound of clothing being ruffled comes from Glimmer’s room. Swift Wind sits on the floor beside Adora’s feet, with his head facing Glimmer’s bedroom door.

Adora glances at the time after ten minutes of waiting. Two-fifty. Yeah, they’re definitely going to be late. They text Bow to let him know, not wanting him to worry about their whereabouts.

Adora: hey, glimmer and I are gonna be late for our coffee meeting. sorry!

It still irks them to not use auto-caps, but Glimmer basically forced them to stop using it, claiming that only straight people apparently use auto-caps. Adora doesn’t understand, and they don’t plan on figuring it out soon.

Bow: it’s okay, i kinda expected that. I’ll be waiting for you guys in our regular spot, okay?

Adora: thanks, bow. you’re the best :)

They grin at their friend’s message. Bow is one of the kindest people Adora has ever met. They met him their first year at BMU, along with Glimmer. The purple-haired girl and Bow have been best friends for years, but don’t live together. They were originally planning on being roommates, but Glimmer went with Adora instead when she found out the blonde needed a roommate. Bow’s roommate is Sea Hawk, one of their mutual friends and Mermista’s boyfriend, now.

Adora stands up, and after grabbing her crutches, walks to Glimmer’s bedroom door. She knocks lightly, “Glimmer? You okay in there?” A tired groan is Adora’s response. 

“I’m gonna come in now, Glimmer.” They open the door slowly to see Glimmer face-down in her bed with clothes strewn across the room. They stifle a chuckle at the disarray of the messy room. It’s not unusual for Glimmer’s room to be messy, but this is a little extreme.

Adora goes to sit beside Glimmer on the bed, leaning her crutches on the wall. She nudges Glimmer’s shoulder, “What’s wrong?” She tries to keep her voice gentle, but she laughs a little at the situation.

Glimmer lifts her head with a pout, “I can’t pick what to wear!”

They raise a brow, “We’re just seeing Bow for coffee, Glim. You don’t exactly need to dress up for the occasion. You’ve already seen Bow today, anyway, remember?”

Her pout deepens, “Yeah, but that was at school! Now I need a cute coffee outfit, but I can’t find one.” She groans again as her face goes back down onto her comforter.

To be honest, Adora has no idea what a ‘cute coffee outfit’ is, but she decides not to question that. Glimmer’s sense of fashion is way too confusing to comprehend sometimes, half of the clothes in her closet having glitter on them. Instead, she pats Glimmer’s shoulder, “Come on, I’ll help you pick an outfit!”

Glimmer raises her head again, this time with an incredulous look on her face, “Really? No offence, Adora, but you’re not exactly a genius when it comes to fashion.” She looks at Adora’s choice of an outfit with a raised brow.

Adora laughs, “Come on, at least let me try!”

“Hm… Okay.” Glimmer rolls off the bed and moves to her small closet filled with pastel-coloured clothes, already picking out a handful of clothes. Adora sits cross-legged on the bed, waiting to voice their opinion.

\----

Adora and Glimmer rush into Brightmoon Coffee, turning right almost instinctively to lead them to Bow, who sits expectantly at their usual booth.

Glimmer sits beside Bow on the outside of the booth, while Adora sits in front of them with her crutches beside her and Swift Wind sitting at her feet. 

“Okay, we’re not _that_ late. It’s only…” Glimmer takes out her phone to check the time, “... two-fifteen. That’s not terrible.”

Bow chuckles in front of her, “It’s okay, guys. I got here a few minutes late, too.”

Adora raises a brow, “You did?”

“Yeah, well, why show up on time when you’re meeting up with Glimmer, right?” He keeps his tone teasing as he turns to the purple-haired girl with a grin.

Glimmer scoffs, “Oh, come on! I’m not always late to _everything_ , guys.”

Adora and Bow both give her an incredulous look until she groans as they laugh at her refusal to admit her bad habit.

The three best friends fall into their usual conversation quickly, laughing as they order their drinks and talk about their first day. It’s so easy for Adora to let go of any anxiety and tension bothering her when she’s with Bow and Glimmer.

Adora grins as they listen to Glimmer complain about one of her professors. They’re really so lucky to have best friends as great as Bow and Glimmer. They don’t know where they’d be without their unconditional support while they were healing from the accident and missing Catra. While Adora loves their foster parents, and their foster brother, they can’t help but miss their childhood best friend. 

Speaking of Catra…

The blonde turns to the door of the café, which jingles open as a familiar brunette walks in, along with Scorpia and Entrapta. 

_Man, the universe really loves torturing her, huh…_

While Bow is telling a story involving his dads, Adora ducks down and pulls the edge of her varsity jacket to cover her face, but it doesn’t work very well. Thankfully, Catra is too busy looking for an empty booth to notice the panicking blonde. Swift Wind peeks his head up from underneath the table where he was lying to see why Adora’s shuffling so much.

Bow’s story trails off when he notices Adora’s failed attempt at hiding, “Yeah! Then, my dad was li… Adora? You okay?” 

Adora peeks up at him, “I’m fine! I’m just… cold. It’s freezing in here, right?” Their voice rises in pitch like it always does when they’re lying.

Glimmer raises a brow incredulously, “Adora, why are you hiding?” Leave it to the purple-haired girl to get straight to the point. 

Adora sighs in defeat but doesn’t move from her makeshift hiding spot. There’s no point in lying if your friends know all your tells. “Catra just walked into the café, so I’m trying to avoid her.”

Glimmer peeks around the café with a focused look on her face. Bow looks at Adora’s hiding concernedly, “Do you want to see Catra again, Adora?”

Adora thinks about the answer to that question, then sighs. They already know the answer to that, they have since the second they left Catra with her. They’re about to respond when Glimmer stands up abruptly, “Come on, let’s go talk to her!” The purple-haired girl grabs Adora’s hand and pulls them up and towards Catra’s booth despite Adora’s protests. Adora has just enough time to grab her crutches as she’s pulled along by her best friend. Swift Wind trails behind her, ready to help Adora if he needs to.

“Glimmer, this is a bad idea,” she says as she’s quickly dragged across the small coffee shop. She’s incredibly glad that today isn’t a bad pain day, otherwise her leg would be on fire by now. 

“It’ll be fine, Adora! Don’t worry, we’ll be here for you if it goes wrong,” Glimmer reassures them. Well, she might have been trying to reassure them, but the words only make Adora more nervous. What if Catra hates them? What if Catra never wants to speak to them again? Oh, and they haven’t even told Catra they’re nonbinary, either. What if she doesn’t support them? Oh fu-

She doesn’t have any time to plan before Glimmer and Adora, still holding hands, are standing in front of the booth holding Catra, Scorpia, and Entrapta, who haven’t noticed them. Adora tries to escape but is yanked back by Glimmer’s hand. ‘ _That must be why she hasn’t let go of my hand,_ ’ Adora thinks inwardly.

Glimmer clears her throat dramatically, and Adora hides behind Glimmer as much as she can when the three friends turn towards the sound. Scorpia looks happy to see them, while Entrapta looks up to wave animatedly before turning back to the mini robot on the table. Catra’s eyes widen when she sees Adora, a look of pure confusion on her face. No, not confusion. Fear, maybe? Maybe Catra really doesn’t want to be friends with her… 

Adora hides further behind Glimmer, not wanting to see the slightest hint of rejection on Catra’s face, even if they deserve it for leaving her. There’s no reason Catra would ever want to be friends with them. They’re not worth all the trouble. Swift Wind, as if sensing their anxiety, bumps his snout against their thigh. The feeling grounds them to the moment, but they’re still worried.

“Hey guys! It’s so great to see you guys here!”

Scorpia beams at them, “Yeah! I didn’t know you went to this café, too.”

Glimmer pushes Adora forward as she speaks, “Yup, it’s our usual hangout spot. So… Adora here would like to speak with Catra, if that’s alright with her.”

Catra’s jaw hangs open as her eyes flicker between Adora, who looks like she’d rather be anywhere but here, and Glimmer. She turns to Adora, who won’t look her in the eyes, “Adora, you want to talk to me?” She had meant the question to sound confident, but the slight shake in her voice gives her away. In all honesty, Catra’s terrified to talk to Adora. She’d ruined the girl’s life, after all. 

Adora lifts her head to look Catra in the eyes for a quick second before dropping her head down again, “Uh… yes? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s okay, I-I can go.” They turn to leave, retreating to their booth across from the coffee shop. 

Catra panics, “Wait!”

They turn back to Catra with a confused look on their face. 

“Don’t… Don’t go. Let’s talk, okay?” She stands up abruptly, grabbing her still steaming cup of coffee. Scorpia places a prosthetic hand on her arm and whispers, “You don’t have to talk to her if it’ll bring back old memories.” Catra smiles, grateful for a friend as caring as Scorpia, “I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” Scorpia nods and takes her hand off. 

Catra moves to stand in front of Adora. The height difference is prominent but is made lesser by Adora crouching slightly with her crutches. The reality of the situation quickly comes back, and she sobers up. As she looks into the blue-grey eyes in front of her that haven’t changed in their years apart, she’s reminded of just how much she missed them over the years.

“We can talk in my car, if that’s okay with you.”

Adora nods wordlessly and the two head out together side by side, almost like old times. The sound of Swift Wind’s jingling collar and Adora’s crutches tapping the floor reminds them of how much things have changed since they lived with Ms. Weaver.

They make it to Catra’s small black Honda Civic in the corner of the tiny coffee shop parking lot. Adora adjusts her crutches to open the back door so she can put her crutches and Swift Wind on the seats, but Catra beats her to the handle.

“Here, I’ll do it for you.”

Adora’s cheeks are tinted slightly red as Catra opens the door for them and helps put their crutches in the back. They tell Swift Wind to get in the backseat and he does immediately, already getting comfy on the plush seats. Adora assumes Catra will go around to her seat, but the brunette instead opens the passenger door for Adora. The blush on their face brightens significantly as they get into their seat, with Catra closing the door for them, too.

Catra appears at the other side of the car, opening the car door and sliding into the driver’s seat. 

Adora fiddles with her fingers, “Thank you for- um… helping me in.” Catra smiles sweetly at her as she turns on the engine and the car roars to life. 

“Of course, Adora. Where do you want to go?”

The blonde looks down with a conflicted look on her face. Catra grins as she focuses on the road, “Wherever you want to go, Adora, we’ll go.”

Adora smiles weakly at that. Catra’s really here, and she wants to see Adora. Every time Adora imagined seeing Catra again, she thought Catra would probably punch her in the face, or something. “Hm… Can we go to your apartment, maybe?”

Catra grins, “Yeah, we can go. Fair warning, though, the dorm is a mess right now since we just moved in.”

Adora laughs, “Don’t worry, Catra. It’s probably not that bad, anyway.” Nothing could compare to Glimmer’s room when she was looking for something. 

Catra laughs with her and they fall into a calming conversation about easy topics, like school or their roommates. 

Maybe they could actually still be friends. Catra doesn’t seem to hate Adora like they thought she would, so maybe they have a chance. Well, she doesn’t know everything about Adora yet. When she does, she’ll probably leave. They should just rip the bandaid off now and save themselves the trouble-

“I’m nonbinary.”

Catra turns to look at Adora quickly with a confused expression, “What?”

Adora clears her throat nervously. She hasn’t felt this nervous about coming out since telling her family. They were supportive, of course, so Adora only hopes that Catra is, too.

“I’m, uh, I’m nonbinary. I use she/they pronouns. So, I’m- I’m not a girl.” They practically whisper the last sentence, as if they’re scared Catra will yell at her, or something.

Catra smiles warmly, “Okay, Adora. You know I completely support you, right?”

Adora nods, before remembering that Catra isn’t looking at her, “I- uh- Yeah, I do. Thank you for, you know, accepting me and all that. I really appreciate it.” Her voice is meek as she fidgets with her fingers again.

“What, did you think I wouldn’t accept you?” Her tone is sarcastic, but Catra's heart cracks just slightly when Adora doesn't answer.

Adora’s silence is enough of an answer.

Catra sighs and grabs Adora’s hand to stop her from picking at her nails, “I will always be by your side, Adora. No matter what, okay?”

Adora intertwines their fingers with Catra’s. The feeling is so familiar and calming that her eyes shine with tears they will not to fall. 

“Really? You’ll stay? But I left you-” Catra cuts her off.

“That was in the past, and you didn’t have a choice.” It's what her therapist had told her when Catra blamed Adora for causing all of her pain and suffering. She knows better now, though. Catra had spent too much time angry at Adora for leaving to lose the opportunity of having them back in her life.

Adora tightens their grip on her hand, “I- Thank you, Catra. I won’t leave you this time.”

“You promise?” Catra’s focused on the street in front of her, but her eyes shimmer with her tears. She had tried to stay strong for Adora's sake, but she should have known that wouldn't last long.

“I promise.”

Coincidentally, they reach Catra’s apartment right then. Catra parks the car in the parking lot and turns off the ignition. She turns to Adora with a nervous smile.

“You ready to talk?”

Adora nods, determined but still scared.

“Yeah, I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't add this in, but Glimmer left and went back to her booth after Catra and Adora left. She talked to Scorpia for a little bit, then went back to her booth to tell Bow everything.
> 
> Also, did I mention Adora has a bob in this AU? Because Adora has a bob in this AU.
> 
> The next chapter is Catra's perspective in all of this :)
> 
> Chapter title credit: The Archer- Taylor Swift

**Author's Note:**

> If any of you were curious about Adora's nerve damage, here's some info on it! Keep in mind, I'm not a doctor. This is just what I came up with after research:
> 
> The cause of the nerve damage is blunt force trauma in Adora's right leg. The pain goes from their knee all the way down to their foot. 
> 
> The main nerve that was damaged was her Saphenous nerve. The Saphenous nerve is strictly a sensory nerve, so none of her motor functions have been affected. Meaning, Adora can move her leg voluntarily and it never stops working. Due to the nerve being sensory, her leg in that area is mostly numb and she can't feel much in it anymore.
> 
> The pain that she gets is either Parasthesia or neuropathic pain. So, it's shooting/burning/prickling pain that extends out from her knee to her foot. Kind of like pins and needles but multiplied by a thousand. 
> 
> Ok, I hope you like this! And my explanation (if you read it).


End file.
